Are we losing ground?

Doing Business with Ralph

“For everything you missed you have gained something else and for everything you gain you lose something."

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

As a student in a Catholic Grade School in Wisconsin one of my favorite activities was playing marbles during recess. We played “for keeps” which meant you kept what you won. This thriving gambling empire operated right under the watchful eyes of the good sister, monitoring playground activities. It was the peak of my day as I fed my gambling addiction with marbles.

The game was played in various corners of the playground not covered with asphalt as the playground doubled as a parking lot on Sundays for the church goers. Holes were dug in the dirt of various depths and widths. The game started with showing your stuff in its best light. Marbles were shown to each other and wedged between the thumb and index in the sunlight as to show them in their best light. Matches were negotiated, closely matched marbles were used in the game and the game was started. Purees were clear glass marbles, cat’s eyes had a red squiggle in them and steelies were steel ball bearings of great value and usually could negotiate a 10 to 1 value.

The idea was to get both marbles in the hole at the same time. If I got mine in I could go again and try to get my competitor’s marble in also and thus claim them both. If I missed it was the other guy’s turn. There was a skill required in getting the marble in the hole that would later be taught in High Scholl Physics. A marble going up a hill would require more of a push to get the tip of the hole and drop in and of course the opposite was true of a marble heading down hill. A shallow hole was tricky and the marble could go right through it if the right speed was not applied. Painful lessons were learned.

These physics lessons carried a heavy price when a 4^th grader would lose a prized marble. A marble loser could easily be spotted in the line up after the recess bell rang. His head hung down and he carried his marble badly like a dead bird.

Later on in the world of business I would be aware of those same emotions in others and myself. Instead of marbles it would be dollars. Instead of a hole in the ground it would be a high or low bid. Instead of a flick of my finger the pressure would be applied with conversation or offered options.

However the feelings of the 4^th grader marching back into class at St. Mary’s grade school or the commuter driving home after a long frustrating day, in traffic were the same. These are feelings of loss. These feelings drain us and make us put our lives on hold.

Ralph Waldo Emerson in this timeless wisdom suggests with the law of compensation that our losses will be transformed into winnings if we open ourselves up to see the real truth of the situation. I became a better negotiator on the playground when I didn’t have as many marbles to lose after I lost a bunch of them. I became more skilled at using patience before I flicked the marble toward the hole and increased my accuracy. I learned to avoid certain holes as I realized I couldn’t win in every situation and to look for the ones in which I had a better chance at winning. My losses transformed me into a “winner” at marbles.

We are in an economy in which many of us have lost many marbles. Maybe they were in a 401K or stock account or home value, it really doesn’t matter where the loss occurred, we have all experienced it. What matters are the skills we have picked up in the game. Perhaps patience, moderation, delayed gratification or other skills are the assets we now have in place of the lost ones. Focusing on these is more than a Pollyanna philosophy. This focus is what all great philosophy teachers, business leaders and human giants of all ages have used.

The truth of Emerson’s statement that there is something to be gained in all loss is a principle that is effective in all areas of life, be it a Catholic school playground, a real estate office or the trading floor of the stock market. It is up to us as an individual to integrate these principles into our lives.

We can either feel as though we are losing ground in our lives or realize we need to dig new holes for the game. A large bowl of marbles on the floor of my closet is an ageless testimony to this law of compensation.